The 25 Dating Rules You Need to Know (And How to Use Them)
Want a Long-Term Relationship? Here's What You Need to Know
Are you looking for a lasting, meaningful relationship but unsure where to start? Finding love can feel overwhelming, but the right approach makes all the difference. I recently read The Rules and The Rules II by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider — two classic dating guides designed to help women attract and maintain fulfilling relationships.
These books emphasize self-respect, confidence, and the power of being a little mysterious. They offer practical strategies for dating with intention and setting yourself up for success in love. Below, I’ve outlined 25 key dating principles from The Rules that can help you navigate modern romance with confidence.
Below is a breakdown of 25 key rules from their books:
Ready to take control of your love life? Let’s dive in!
The 25 Rules and Their Meanings
Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other” — Develop confidence, self-respect, and uniqueness to attract the right partner.
Don’t Talk to a Man First (and Don’t Ask Him Out) — Let men take the lead in pursuing a relationship.
Don’t Stare at Men or Talk Too Much — Maintain an air of mystery and don’t be overly eager.
Don’t Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date — Let the man take charge and invest in the relationship.
Don’t Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls — Avoid chasing him; let him make the effort.
Always End the Call First — Maintain control by not lingering on the phone.
Don’t Accept a Saturday Night Date After Wednesday — Make sure he plans ahead and values your time.
Fill Up Your Time Before the Date — Have a fulfilling life outside of dating so you don’t seem too available.
How to Act on Dates 1, 2, & 3 — Be polite, a little reserved, and don’t reveal too much too soon.
How to Act on Dates 4 Through Commitment Time — Gradually open up while maintaining your independence.
Always End the Date First — Leave him wanting more and maintain control of the pacing.
Stop Dating Him If He Doesn’t Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine’s Day — Ensure he values and prioritizes you.
Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week — Keep your schedule full and don’t revolve your life around him.
No More Than Casual Kissing on the First Date — Take things slowly to build anticipation.
Don’t Rush Into Sex & Don’t Live with Him Until You’re Engaged — Preserve mystery and ensure commitment before deep emotional and physical involvement.
Don’t Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him — Accept men as they are or move on.
Don’t Open Up Too Fast — Keep an air of mystery and let him earn your trust.
Be Honest but Mysterious — Share enough to keep him interested but don’t reveal everything too soon.
Accentuate the Positive & Be Feminine — Keep the energy light, positive, and embrace femininity.
Don’t Live With a Man Unless You’re Engaged or Married — Maintain clear relationship goals.
Let Him Take the Lead in the Relationship — Allow the man to initiate deeper commitment steps.
Don’t Date a Married Man — Avoid emotionally unavailable and unethical relationships.
Don’t Be Too Eager to Please — Have boundaries and expectations in the relationship.
Don’t Tell Him What to Do — Allow him to make his own choices and decisions.
Love Only Those Who Love You — Avoid unrequited love and focus on mutual affection.